Too much of a good thing?

As well as being a member of this fine forum I'm also on some Italy-centric Facebook sites (under a number of alter egos!).  In the general 'chat' there are frequent comments like 'so different to when we were there with you' or 'I can't believe it's changed so much since last summer'.

Undoubtedly one of the great pleasures of owning a home in Italy is having your friends and family to stay. 

But, after a while:
1) Do you start to resent the frequent trips to and from your local airport?
2) Do you wonder why certain guests seem to think they're staying in an hotel, and behave accordingly?
3) Does it bug you that your guests can't even stretch to buying a couple of bottles of vino rosso at Conad?
4) Do you just long to have a few days alone with your OH to actually enjoy the 'Italian Dream' you've created?

I really love my family and (slightly less) my friends but........................ 

Great one, but none of the above for us....  

It all depends on the guests. There are some who are terrific and a real pleasure to have at home. Unfortunately, the other lot is a pain. And have you realized that in most cases these are long lost "friends" who have not contacted you for years... until someone makes a comment about the house you have in Italy? 

Interesting that 2 people find this a little of a pain, perhaps one we (as relatively new to it) need to look out for...?

Ghiro, I think this is definitely the case and as Gala said it tends not to be the real, true friends but more the acquaintances and sadly sometimes family! Although at least with family you can at least say "oi - buy a round"!!!

Yes, I think that this also helps to sort out who are our true, loyal friends. The ones that we want to keep for the rest of our lives.  
I must add that entertaining is a lot of work, at least in my case, as I want to have everything ready beforehand, so that when visitors arrive I can sit back and relax. So it requires plenty of planning and organisation.

We found it fun to plan out visits according to who was arriving. A variation and spotting their level of enjoyment seems to be the way forward as we can then plan their next visit even better....

Please don't misunderstand me Steve and Penny.  We absolutely love having friends and family to stay.  We wouldn't have it any other way!

But we're not resident in Italy. so the time we spend here is precious.  None of the friends we invite are 'long lost' but some of them don't seem to appreciate the effort that we put in to entertain them!   

A couple of years ago we invited a divorcee friend to stay.  She then asked whether she could also bring her 23 year old (single) daughter.  Of course we said yes.  Gems included 'Do you have any Factor 15 suntan lotion?' and helping themselves to all of the mozzarella in the 'mozzarella & tomato salad' I'd made!

Surprise surprise!  They weren't invited back this year.  

This is such a familiar story! A friend of ours in Lunigiana recently had two adults and a teenager stay with them for three weeks. They ate them out of house and home and cost them a fortune in utilities. In return, the visitors bought a bottle of instant coffee, because they had run out, and I think a couple of beers!

I am always amazed that some visitors expect to be fed and waited on, with out contributing anything. We try to set expectations, and always tell people they can only stay four nights. 

Good friends always contribute, but there are still those deadly airport runs … My OH doesn't like putting them on the train, which is what I would do given the choice!

But it is still lovely to have good friends and family to stay 

Well, I guess that we all know who we are going to invite again... As for long lost "friends" I do know what to do now...

... some of these posts seem to indicate there are people out there I don't really want to know.... I'm sure no one on here would behave like that   

Fortunately, the majority of the experiences are great, but there are always a small minority who give you a bad time...

Gala Placidia wrote:.. but there are always a small minority who give you a bad time...

And the 'small minority' gets smaller and smaller and smaller!   

as you get older, wiser and grumpier

Well.................

After FORTY hours without electricity, I can't imagine anybody wanting to come to see us in winter from now on !!!

V

Wait until the weather improves....

We were thinking of asking friends (not family) to contribute to a kitty that we all put into if they come for longer than a weekend - we've down that at a couple of other friends when we've visited them abroad and it takes that "taking a liberty" feeling away.  So the friends who we've gone to stay with have cooked the first meal and then it's all joint after that - so joint cost and joint creations/alternate cooking etc.  Has anybody else done this?